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I read yesterday that Kobe Bryant asked to be traded from
the Lakers (that’s pro basketball for you non-sports fans). Faulting the team
management, the star player indicated that nothing could make him change his
mind.
It occurred to me immediately that he had lost all of his
trust in the Lakers’ head office, a fact he confirmed later in the article.
Hours later, Bryant recanted and said he wanted to stay with
Los Angeles throughout his career, apparently because Coach Phil Jackson got to
him and regained his trust.
The fact is, both Jackson and the Lakers’
business people are going to be in a bad spot if they lose one of the best
players in the game
Do you ever lose business or jobs to your
competition more than you’d like?
There’s an old marketing maxim that people buy from people
they know, trust, and like. And it’s true. Those three elements make up the basis for any business relationship. All
three are important, but for my money, it’s the trust part that’s
indispensable.
Look at eBay: when you go to buy something, don’t you always
check the feedback rating for the seller? I do, and if it’s below about 98.5%
positive, I’ll go to the next seller with the same item. If it’s a unique item,
I email the seller to find out if I can trust them.
Likewise, buyers have ratings based on how quickly they pay, if they pay,
etc. The whole system is based on trust, and without it, eBay would be dead in
the water.
“So what,” you say? You already know it’s a good thing to be trustworthy, and
you probably already are most of the time.
Well, here are a couple of things to keep in mind, particularly when dealing
with your prospective clients and customers:
1. Acting trustworthy and being trustworthy are two different
things. The former involves you focusing on making sure others know they can
trust you. The latter demands that you live with integrity, and as a result
people automatically trust you.
When you act trustworthy, what those around you see is a person who’s trying
to act trustworthy rather than just trusting you without thinking about it.
It’s sort of like good acting: when a performance is pretty good, you say,
“that’s a good actor.” But when a performance is great, you forget the actor and
lose yourself in the story.
2. Being trustworthy and being perceived as trustworthy are two different
things. You may know in your heart that in your relationships—business and
otherwise—people can trust you, but if they don’t know it, it’s going to be
impossible to attract new business and keep what you have.
Of course, the best way to be perceived as trustworthy is to live with
integrity. Here are a few things you can do to create trust.
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Be honest. As Mark Twain said, “If you tell
the truth, you don’t have to remember anything."
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Follow through on your commitments. Nothing surprises people like doing what
you say you’ll do.
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Underpromise and overdeliver. Clients and customers (and friends and family
members) are knocked out by this.
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Take responsibility. When you screw up, say so, apologize, and move on. People
can respect honesty, but they can’t respect weaseling out.
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Ask the deeper/harder questions. Asking someone to go below the surface with
you is intensely intimate and creates immediate trust.
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Keep a positive attitude. People want to be around those who are up, lively,
and happy, all things that engender trust.
Maybe you’re thinking, “I already do all those things.”
Well, here’s a two-day experiment to see how well you build trust.
Day 1. Monitor how many lies you tell. This ranges from social conventions
such as, “that’s a nice tie,” bigger lies that have you covering your tracks.
Don’t keep a written tally, but make a mental note each time you do.
Day 2. Challenge yourself to tell the truth all day. Be aware of the
temptation to tell a lie, and yet find the courage to either shut your mouth, or
tell the painful truth.
At the end of the day, take stock of the reactions of those around you.
Notice also when you surprised yourself. Most of all, be aware of how you feel
about your actions.
Finally, the most important point: being trustworthy is great for increasing
business and getting more work, but those things are small compared to how
you’ll feel about yourself. If you can fully trust yourself, anything is
possible for your life.
Until next month, here’s to a life of integrity.
RJ
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- by Steven M.R. Covey
- by Brad Blanton
- by Brad Blanton
- by Ron Willingham
- by Adrian Gostick and Dana Telford